August 20, 2008

I remember at the beginning of the year I thought that I would post everyday. Clearly that hasn't happened. I don't think I had any idea of where this year was going to take me as I sat on the floor of my husband's bathroom in NJ trying not to vomit from the combination of too much wine and too much champagne on New Year's Eve.

Things are moving along on all fronts. The deployment is getting closer to actually starting for real (as in the whole leaving the country part of it), Mack is doing great and my new lease starts in 5 days and the movers come in 10 days. I've been ridiculously overwhelmed lately - I don't know if its because I'll be out of the condo I've been living in for 2 years in less than 2 weeks or because I am only 80-some odd days from having a baby. I still remember thinking it was such a big deal to be 199 days from my EDD!

And while I am excited to move, I have a strange sense of sadness leaving my current place. This was where I lived while I finished planning my wedding, we were newlyweds sitting at the table writing thank you notes and eating left over wedding cake. I was also here during times when I really questioned our decision to get married when we did and where I came home to with an empty heart after my miscarriage. I'm not the same person that moved in here two years ago, and that is a good thing.

But as I've said before I love new beginnings. I've got big plans for my new place including the dresser I am buying this weekend and the new slipcover I bought for the couch. This will be the place where I bring my son home to and where we will finally be a family a few months after that. A place for fresh starts...and lots of boxes for the next couple of weeks.

August 10, 2008

26 weeks today - wow, this time next week I'll be starting my third trimester. Crazy how quickly and how slowly time has gone.

Some pictures for your viewing pleasure - the one on the left is me all dressed up for a wedding I went to on Saturday and the one on the right is me all dressed up and showing the belly.
















Please excuse all the boxes and mess. I'm moving soon and so packing has begun. Just an FYI for those who are planning/considering a move while pregnant, it is entirely doable but it also totally sucks. Just sayin.

August 9, 2008

The final countdown begins - I'm less than 100 days from my due date. And its a strange mix of fear and excitement that I am feeling as I realize that this baby is coming.

I keep thinking of something they said over and over last night during one of those human interest athlete montages "Not the triumph, but the struggle." It's probably more than a little cheesy but I find myself relating to it in a way that I never would have before.

So much of the love I have for my husband and for my son come from the struggles we have gone through. Whether its been surviving multiple deployments and 5 years of a long distance relationship (including the first 18months of our relationship) or my miscarriage and the fear of pregnancy after a loss, those struggles are what have gotten me to where I am. It may not be the Normal Rockwell painting I imagined, but I realize that I wouldn't trade in my current situation for that "perfect" scenario. Because I wouldn't have my boys with out the struggles and being with them is the greatest triumph of all.