So I decided that now would be a good time to finish my "How I Met Your Father" post so that I don't have to think about other things.
So my BF and I got in her car and began to drive back to PA. The ride started out by laughing at TSM and how ridiculous he was and then I started to get a little sappy about him, how he seemed like a really great guy and that he really seemed interested in getting to know me. I of course then had to change the subject because I felt this strange warm fuzzy feeling about this guy starting to grow.
TSM was not easily deterred. He called his friend, who called BF who gave him my email to give to TSM. Apparently he then pulled together a bunch of his Marine buddies and took about 3 days to write a four line email that would show he was interested but not make him look needy. I have to admit I was impressed, so he finally got my number and we started talking pretty much everyday. A few weeks later he came up to see me and took me on a date - a real live actual date that ended with a kiss and him leaving me at the door because he "wanted to do things right this time."
So what is a damaged, commitment phobic girl to do when Mr Wonderful walks into her life? Why of course I found another guy who as one of my friends put it was a "fixer-upper." Seriously, if you ever want to see what he looks like look up loser in Websters dictionary and there is actually a picture of him. And of course I decide that this guy was a much better match for me than TSM because I never wanted to be involved with someone in the military (oh the irony of this statement now). Of course another friend was probably slightly more on the mark when she hypothesised that I avoided any relationships that had a future because I was afraid of getting hurt again.
So as hard as I tried, TSM would not give up on me. So when it became clear that just not talking to him anymore wasn't going to make him go away, I realized that I actually had to call and break up with this guy. This lead to another classic Erin-ism: The Plant Plan. I explained to him that while I enjoyed spending time with him, we were getting a little too relationshippy for me and that I simply couldn't be in a relationship with someone until I was able to keep a plant alive for six months. We get off the phone and I pat myself on the back for doing the right thing.
The next day I got a plant. Not just any plant mind you, a large green and white house plant with a note that said "I'll wait as long as it takes" Me being me, immediately calls BF and mocks the plant, throws away the note and sticks the plant on a window seat in my room, behind the door. This was in November and I can say that I completely forgot about said plant almost instantly.
The months go on, loser-guy got more loserish and further convinced me that normal healthy relationships only existed in moves and on tv. To his credit, TSM gave me some space for a few weeks and then we started chatting online here and there. I always enjoyed talking to him but I kept reminding myself that I didn't want to be involved with someone in the military. I got a job down in DC, packed my things and moved South. The relationship with loser was well on its way to ending so I was just waiting that out before moving on to conquer a whole new city.
Then I heard that TSM was going to Iraq. This was early 2003, just as the war was starting. He was the first person that I really knew who was going to be in a real war and the feelings I had were confusing. I was feeling so much at one time, that I didn't quite know how to process it all. We talked a little bit, enough for me to get his address because I told him that I would write and send care packages but I still I felt like there was so much more that needed to be said.
A few days later my Mom called and asked if I wanted the plant that was on my window seat. My part of the conversations went something like this: Plant? What plant? Oh that plant. Isn't it dead? No? Seriously. Are you sure? Like its still alive? Wow. I gotta go.
I packed a bag, got in my car and started driving from VA to Northern NJ in the middle of a snow storm. I called BF and got directions to TSMs fraternity house (I knew he was there that weekend for a going away party) and then I called loser-guy and ended it. Many, many hours later I found myself standing at the door of the fraternity, in the middle of a storm with no idea what to do next. I was literally about to walk away when someone opened the door to come out for a cigarette and found me there. He asked if he could help me, I said that I was there for TSMs going away party and with that I was invited in with a loud yell of "TSM, some girl is here for you!"
I don't know who was more stunned when he finally came down the stairs. He put his arms around me, kissed me and I knew at that moment I was pretty much done. He told me he understood how I felt and that he couldn't offer me anything since he was about to leave for a then undetermined period of time but that he wanted to spend as much of the time as he had left in the US with me. It took me less than a week to come out and tell him that I love him; he one upped me by telling me he had loved me since the day I came up with the Plant Plan.
Three and a half years of dating, three dead fish, five apartments in VA, three in NJ, two dogs, two deployments, almost two years of marriage, a miscarriage, a college graduation and baby boy due in November later the slutty emotionally damaged girl and the Marine that pukes off the side of a boat are still together. We're apart again for another deployment (this is number three if you are counting) but with all the things there are to be afraid of, we're nowhere near as afraid of it as we should be because we are together and we figure we'll get through it somehow.
And that plant? It's still growing
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
September 20, 2008
One of my internet friends (hey Newtie!) posted the story of how she and her husband met earlier this week and I loved it. So today I am going to post the story of how J and I met so it will be preserved for all of history, and maybe someday when he is about 45 I will let Michael read this.
It was mid-September 2002. I was still recovering from breaking up with the guy I had been dating since I was not-quite 15, though dating is a lose term for the college years...we were bascially sleeping together while he dated other people. Sometimes I knew, sometimes I didn't but the self-esteem issues that go along with that debacle are worthy of their own post. Anyway. I was dealing with said breakup in a way that only seems constructive when you are 20/21 years old and recently had returned from a semester abroad. I drank (alot) and had sex (even more). It wasn't pretty.
So I had just returned from six months of this chaos, was interning on a political campaign and finishing up my last semester of school when one of my best friends (we shall now call her BF because I am too lazy to type) asked me to go to a party with her. And not just any party, a party on her friend's friend's dad's sailboat. God love you if you could follow that. I had tons of stuff to do for school, I was still competitivly dancing at the time and had a million reasons not to go but at the last minute I decided that I deserved a break and that I was going to go with BF. So we packed up our bags, hopped in the car and away we went.
Now as we are driving I start to ask more details and I learn that the girl to guy ratio is significantly in my favor. I then bust out a quote that has gone down in history among all my college friends.
If I don't get laid tonight, I'm gonna be pissed.
Thats right. Classiest 21 year old ever. I was that girl that kept all the Mom's awake at night when they thought of their dear, sweet innocent little boys at college.
So we arrive. We meet up some other people who are going to be on this boat - two guys, neither one particularly interesting to me. We get on a smaller boat to take us out to the big boat and now I am finally getting a full look of all of my options. And there he is, a tall skinny Marine (who shall now be known as TSM) cooking burgers and drinking beer but obviously engrossed in a conversation with a girl. Damnit. No wait, they are talking about their Mom. Score, it's his sister. I turn to BF and say "Mine." She rolls her and eyes and laughs, apparently having known this was going to be the guy before we even got to the party.
So the night goes on. I quickly learn that TSM is painfully shy and awkward around girls which of course makes me drool like a lion looking at a gazelle with a broken leg. We sail, we chat, we get to the place we need to be for the night and drop anchor. We all start drinking including TSM, who after several beers decides that he is going to make a martini.
Now this martini deserves its own paragraph and here's why. TSM has never had a martini, never made a martini, or really been even remotely involved with a martini. We are on a boat so there are no martini glasses so he gets out a 16oz plastic tumbler and proceeds to make a 50/50 mixture of gin and vermoth. Now I am no expert but even I can tell this is a bad idea. He continues to add gin, vermouth and olive juice trying to make it taste better until the tumbler is full. TSM feels he has now reached the point of no return because to not drink it in front of me would be the ultimate shame to his masculinity so he ends up drinking all 16oz of this concoction. You'll learn why this is important later.
So the evening progresses. TSM and I are talking, I suggest we leave everyone below and go up on deck so we can talk where it is quieter. We are followed by one of his friends (let's refer to him as BM, short for best man because he was the best man at our wedding, for very good reason). He quickly realizes his mistake, doesn't want to be obvious to us or everyone down below so he suggests that TSM take me to the front of the boat since I hadn't been up there yet - mind you there is ABSOLUTELY nothing to see. We jump at the chance, TSM tries to be deep and talk about how much he loves the ocean while I calculate how much longer I have before this guy passes out and decide to make my move. So I kiss him.
After kissing for a few minutes TSM decides that it is time for everyone to go to bed and that he and I should sleep next to each other. Of course, we are sleeping next to each other in the same berth as three other people, including BM who is perched on this ledge directly next to us. Lights go out, things progress (there is an absolutely hysterical story about a velcro fly that I'll spare you the details of) and of course I being who I was at that point in my life end up having sex with TSM. Poor BMs little ledge of a bed collapses during our escapades so he ends up sleeping on the deck of the boat because he just wants to give us some privacy and my BF and her friend who originally invited us on the boat were desperately trying to sleep. Trashtastic.
We fall asleep but I wake up a few hours later and realize that TSM is gone. Sweet I initially think, I don't have to deal with awkward goodbyes but then I see him, sitting on the deck alone and immediately I realize that something about this guy is different because I actually want to go sit with him. After a few minutes I go up to check on him. As I sit down, he pulls me close so we can share the blanket he was wrapped in and I am struck by how nice it is to be close to him. He then busts out one of the most classic relationship conversations ever:
TSM: I really like you.
Me: Yeah...I like you. **Thinking, crap now what**
TSM: I'm gonna throw up now. **Proceeds to vomit off the side of the boat**
So back to bed we go and I wake up again shortly before sunrise. I sneak out of the bed and climb back up on deck to watch the sun come up alone. TSM realizes that I've gone and comes to find me and we sit and watch it together. No talking, just watching. I tell him to go lay down because I know he isn't feeling well and he tells me that he feels better just being with me. Part of me considers jumping in the water and swimming to land but I stay there and enjoy the moment.
Everyone else starts to wake up, and TSM makes stupid, sappy comment after stupid, sappy comment that we still make fun of him of him for today. We finally get back and as I am leaving (assuming that its been just another one night stand) he gets off the boat with me, asks me for my number and to the USMC birthday ball. I tell him no to both, that I had a great time and that if he really wants to talk to get my email from the guy who invited me on the boat. A final kiss and I was gone, thinking I'd never hear from this guy again.
How we got from here to marriage and a baby on the way is a whole 'nother story for a whole 'nother day...
It was mid-September 2002. I was still recovering from breaking up with the guy I had been dating since I was not-quite 15, though dating is a lose term for the college years...we were bascially sleeping together while he dated other people. Sometimes I knew, sometimes I didn't but the self-esteem issues that go along with that debacle are worthy of their own post. Anyway. I was dealing with said breakup in a way that only seems constructive when you are 20/21 years old and recently had returned from a semester abroad. I drank (alot) and had sex (even more). It wasn't pretty.
So I had just returned from six months of this chaos, was interning on a political campaign and finishing up my last semester of school when one of my best friends (we shall now call her BF because I am too lazy to type) asked me to go to a party with her. And not just any party, a party on her friend's friend's dad's sailboat. God love you if you could follow that. I had tons of stuff to do for school, I was still competitivly dancing at the time and had a million reasons not to go but at the last minute I decided that I deserved a break and that I was going to go with BF. So we packed up our bags, hopped in the car and away we went.
Now as we are driving I start to ask more details and I learn that the girl to guy ratio is significantly in my favor. I then bust out a quote that has gone down in history among all my college friends.
If I don't get laid tonight, I'm gonna be pissed.
Thats right. Classiest 21 year old ever. I was that girl that kept all the Mom's awake at night when they thought of their dear, sweet innocent little boys at college.
So we arrive. We meet up some other people who are going to be on this boat - two guys, neither one particularly interesting to me. We get on a smaller boat to take us out to the big boat and now I am finally getting a full look of all of my options. And there he is, a tall skinny Marine (who shall now be known as TSM) cooking burgers and drinking beer but obviously engrossed in a conversation with a girl. Damnit. No wait, they are talking about their Mom. Score, it's his sister. I turn to BF and say "Mine." She rolls her and eyes and laughs, apparently having known this was going to be the guy before we even got to the party.
So the night goes on. I quickly learn that TSM is painfully shy and awkward around girls which of course makes me drool like a lion looking at a gazelle with a broken leg. We sail, we chat, we get to the place we need to be for the night and drop anchor. We all start drinking including TSM, who after several beers decides that he is going to make a martini.
Now this martini deserves its own paragraph and here's why. TSM has never had a martini, never made a martini, or really been even remotely involved with a martini. We are on a boat so there are no martini glasses so he gets out a 16oz plastic tumbler and proceeds to make a 50/50 mixture of gin and vermoth. Now I am no expert but even I can tell this is a bad idea. He continues to add gin, vermouth and olive juice trying to make it taste better until the tumbler is full. TSM feels he has now reached the point of no return because to not drink it in front of me would be the ultimate shame to his masculinity so he ends up drinking all 16oz of this concoction. You'll learn why this is important later.
So the evening progresses. TSM and I are talking, I suggest we leave everyone below and go up on deck so we can talk where it is quieter. We are followed by one of his friends (let's refer to him as BM, short for best man because he was the best man at our wedding, for very good reason). He quickly realizes his mistake, doesn't want to be obvious to us or everyone down below so he suggests that TSM take me to the front of the boat since I hadn't been up there yet - mind you there is ABSOLUTELY nothing to see. We jump at the chance, TSM tries to be deep and talk about how much he loves the ocean while I calculate how much longer I have before this guy passes out and decide to make my move. So I kiss him.
After kissing for a few minutes TSM decides that it is time for everyone to go to bed and that he and I should sleep next to each other. Of course, we are sleeping next to each other in the same berth as three other people, including BM who is perched on this ledge directly next to us. Lights go out, things progress (there is an absolutely hysterical story about a velcro fly that I'll spare you the details of) and of course I being who I was at that point in my life end up having sex with TSM. Poor BMs little ledge of a bed collapses during our escapades so he ends up sleeping on the deck of the boat because he just wants to give us some privacy and my BF and her friend who originally invited us on the boat were desperately trying to sleep. Trashtastic.
We fall asleep but I wake up a few hours later and realize that TSM is gone. Sweet I initially think, I don't have to deal with awkward goodbyes but then I see him, sitting on the deck alone and immediately I realize that something about this guy is different because I actually want to go sit with him. After a few minutes I go up to check on him. As I sit down, he pulls me close so we can share the blanket he was wrapped in and I am struck by how nice it is to be close to him. He then busts out one of the most classic relationship conversations ever:
TSM: I really like you.
Me: Yeah...I like you. **Thinking, crap now what**
TSM: I'm gonna throw up now. **Proceeds to vomit off the side of the boat**
So back to bed we go and I wake up again shortly before sunrise. I sneak out of the bed and climb back up on deck to watch the sun come up alone. TSM realizes that I've gone and comes to find me and we sit and watch it together. No talking, just watching. I tell him to go lay down because I know he isn't feeling well and he tells me that he feels better just being with me. Part of me considers jumping in the water and swimming to land but I stay there and enjoy the moment.
Everyone else starts to wake up, and TSM makes stupid, sappy comment after stupid, sappy comment that we still make fun of him of him for today. We finally get back and as I am leaving (assuming that its been just another one night stand) he gets off the boat with me, asks me for my number and to the USMC birthday ball. I tell him no to both, that I had a great time and that if he really wants to talk to get my email from the guy who invited me on the boat. A final kiss and I was gone, thinking I'd never hear from this guy again.
How we got from here to marriage and a baby on the way is a whole 'nother story for a whole 'nother day...
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
September 9, 2008
So yeah...I've been neglecting my blog again. Though its not like I've been out partying and what not; since my last post I have finished packing up one apartment, moved and (mostly) unpacked the new apartment. I even started hanging pictures tonight, which is when I realized that even though my husband's insistance on DIY projects can drive me batshit crazy he is rather handy to have around when it comes to hanging pictures. Oh well, there is only one picture that is both off center and crooked so I feel like I did a pretty good job for someone who is 30 weeks pregnant.
Speaking of my husband, he is currently in Kuwait waiting for transport to his final destination. I hate that he is gone but am relieved that he is at the same time. It's finally begun and now that its begun we can start planning for life after deployment #3. Let the countdown to his homecoming begin.
Another countdown rapidly come to an end is the countdown to my due date. I am a little over 30 weeks right now which I feel makes me officially very pregnant. Here is a picture of my 30 week belly - any thoughts to where the rest of this kid is going to go because I can imagine my stomach getting any larger than it already is!
I wish I wasn't still so scared about losing this baby and that I could just enjoy these final days but I guess having a loss, even an early one, will do that to you. I worry about cord accidents, pre-term labor and lately something happening to him after he is born. At least I am getting to the point where I can occasionally picture bringing him home.
And home is just about ready for him. Other than hanging a few more pictures and getting some boxes into the storage unit, I am settled. In the picture below you'll see two dressers - those are going to become a changing table - and an empty corner that will soon be occupied by a crib. A crib that this child of mine is going to sleep in. At least in theory since it seems that he likes to sleep all day and party all night. But he is going to be in there sleeping at least occasionally and that is amazing.
I'll be sure to post more pictures of the new place as soon as I finish decorating. It's certainly nothing spectacular but its home and so far I am liking it here. Now that I am getting settled I promise to do a better job of posting more regularly. Or at the very least I will try - who knows whats next in this crazy life I am living.
Speaking of my husband, he is currently in Kuwait waiting for transport to his final destination. I hate that he is gone but am relieved that he is at the same time. It's finally begun and now that its begun we can start planning for life after deployment #3. Let the countdown to his homecoming begin.
Another countdown rapidly come to an end is the countdown to my due date. I am a little over 30 weeks right now which I feel makes me officially very pregnant. Here is a picture of my 30 week belly - any thoughts to where the rest of this kid is going to go because I can imagine my stomach getting any larger than it already is!
I wish I wasn't still so scared about losing this baby and that I could just enjoy these final days but I guess having a loss, even an early one, will do that to you. I worry about cord accidents, pre-term labor and lately something happening to him after he is born. At least I am getting to the point where I can occasionally picture bringing him home.
And home is just about ready for him. Other than hanging a few more pictures and getting some boxes into the storage unit, I am settled. In the picture below you'll see two dressers - those are going to become a changing table - and an empty corner that will soon be occupied by a crib. A crib that this child of mine is going to sleep in. At least in theory since it seems that he likes to sleep all day and party all night. But he is going to be in there sleeping at least occasionally and that is amazing.
I'll be sure to post more pictures of the new place as soon as I finish decorating. It's certainly nothing spectacular but its home and so far I am liking it here. Now that I am getting settled I promise to do a better job of posting more regularly. Or at the very least I will try - who knows whats next in this crazy life I am living.
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