January 31, 2008

Tonight I watched Eli Stone, a new show on ABC. Tonights show is all about faith.

Faith is one of those things that I am slowly starting to get back since my m/c. I lost faith in myself and my ability to have a child. I lost faith in my husband and in our marriage. I even started to lost some of my faith in God. But with time, I'm finding it again, not all at once or even in big chunks. I found faith again in bits and pieces, like the chewed up pieces of squeaky toys Frank leaves around the apartment. And here I am, nearly seven months later - more in love with my husband then ever, in a marriage that is stronger than I would have imagined it being and I'm even going back to church.

Though faith in myself and my ability to have a child, that is a little harder to find. It's out there though, I just need to wait for it. I have faith.

January 30, 2008

Today, two not so great things happened.  First, I had to take Frank to the vet.  Poor little thing had blood coming out of his butt so I took him in for an emergency check up.  Fortunately, it was nothing serious so a bland diet and two weeks of antibiotics should do the trick.

Second, I got news from perezhilton.com.  Not Brangelina news, or news on JLo's delivery in Long Island.  Real news about presidential candidates.  I feel dirty.

January 29, 2008

I hate secrets. Not the good kind, because that can be fun. But the don't tell someone this because it's going to upset them kind of secret.

My Mother in law still doesn't know her son is going back to Iraq. Well, I think she knows but he hasn't told her so I think she is trying to convince herself its not him. And when she finds out...oh Lord, when she finds out. She has a unique ability I've noticed of making anything she doesn't like directly targeted at her. He'll be going back to Iraq just to upset her I am sure.

So I'm not looking forward to her finding out, but I hate that she doesn't know. I think she has a right to know. And I just want to start dealing with the drama that's to come because when its time for him to go, all I want to deal with is him.

January 28,2008

Tonight was the State of the Union address.  I wonder what the founding fathers would think of the debacle that is the SOTU today - an hour of carefully choreographed cheering, standing ovations and special guests invited to tug at the heart strings of the American public.  Each party trying to show that they are the ones that care more about the American public, that they are more patriotic and more worthy to lead our nation because of how well they clap on cue.

The President outlined several programs to help military families and spouses - better support for children, daycare support, government job programs for spouses, etc etc etc.  Here's a hint. How about bringing the troops home to be with their families.  How about being a little more thoughtful about when you decide to send them off to war and for how long.  Because at the end of the day, as someone who is a military spouse I'd much rather have my husband here with me then a government job or cheap daycare.    

January 27, 2008

I'm waiting. And I suck at waiting.

But all I can do is wait.

January 26, 2008

I hate memorizing things. I just spent a little over an hour at the library memorizing things for my TCRG exam and I think my head might explode. And in the back of my mind I am already worrying that if I can't even study for more than an hour at a time how in God's name am I ever going to be ready for this exam??

::takes a deep breath::

Alright, study time is over. Time to enjoy the rest of the day/evening with my hubs.

January 25, 2008

Everybody's workin for the weekend

Ah, Friday. The actions on my to do list are crossed off, my inbox is relatively empty and the office is starting to clear out. Best of all, hubby is within an hour of getting home and we are going to...enjoy...some quality time together.

Fridays are great because the whole weekend is stretched out in front of me - dinner tonight, studying and puttering around the house the rest of the weekend. Maybe get my car inspected too. Friday afternoon is full of potential, and as I've said before I love that feeling you get when the road in front of you is full of potential.

I've decided. This is going to be a great weekend.